So, my weight loss has come to a full stop. My eating isn't overall terrible, but I have had ice cream a couple of times in the last week. The exercise has not happened this week.
It is all a vicious cycle. Work has had some pretty heavy things going on, which has had me extremely tied up in knots, without realizing it fully until today. I can't sleep at night, because I am constantly worrying and processing in my head. That, in turn, makes it so that I can not wake up in the morning as early as I was. I now have the added joy of having to be to work an hour earlier, so if I don't wake up early, I have no time to exercise first. Without getting my morning boost of endorphins, I don't make my eating regular meals a priority. I have been working two hours later than normal, which means I barely make it home before my husband. So, we are eating dinner late, without time to do an actual EFFECTIVE workout in. My water has stayed at half of what I should, and I am only taking my estrogen and vitamins about every other day.
To give you an example of how my body is currently feeling, between stress and the effects of my vicious cycle... Today was the worst day at work that I have had in a long time. I was doing my job, filling in for a girl on vacation, and then started filling in for one that was let go (a job I am not trained for!) The tension in the air is so thick you can barely breathe... and even I am in fear of losing my job. Well, I didn't get a chance to eat the healthy lunch that the kitchen had prepared for me, because I was meeting with resident family members. Then, I had to run to pick up my kids to take them to their orthodontist appointment. While there, I didn't do anything... no book, no phone, NOTHING! As I was letting my body and mind unwind, I realized that my ulcer had started hurting so badly that I was sick. By the time I got back to work, I was barely hanging in there. It took until 8:30, at my church activity, before my body relaxed enough that a lot of it finally let go. I still am not hungry, but am giving myself food to keep my ulcer at bay.
I already miss the energy that I had two weeks ago, when my eyes were opening up as soon as I heard noise outside. I miss going to bed by 10 or 11, and falling almost immediately to sleep. I miss getting on my scale and seeing another 1/2 or 1 pound gone.
It is after midnight now, and my late night venting has come to an end. So, to start my new day (after all, it is now morning), I will end on a positive note. My soda intake from the beginning of the challenge is still at ZERO! Way to go, me!
small victories is where it's at! You will make it through. I love you and so does our Heavenly Father. He wants us to be healthy and happy! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteFirst, it's incredible that your soda consumption is at zero. That is WONDERFUL!!! :0) As far as the rest I"m right there with you on feeling the stress at work. one thing i've done (not for this competition but just for my sanity) is set a timer at my desk to go off every hour. When the timer goes of I get up from my desk and go walk for 5 mins (set the timer again) then go back to my desk and get back to work. I find that by taking just 5 mins to walk every hour my stress level is SOOOOO much lower and I get SOOOO much more accomplished. It may seem impossible but I PROMISE that if you will do it you will see a significant difference. (if you can't do every hour do every 1.5 or 2... just DO IT!) GOod luck and let me know how it goes.
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